Vinn's Journal
11/1/2005 |
"So, what will you do with the rest of your life?" This query was presented by a friend just the other day and it gave great pause to the idea that there was, indeed, more to do and that this life has a "rest of" quality.
Surprisingly, the only way I can begin to answer this is by narrowing it down from the rest of my life, to the rest of the year, to the rest of the month, the rest of the week, the rest of the day, the rest of this moment.
The big picture is blurred from personal focus. It has been a challenge to see beyond the moment when the moment is so delicious and cranked with limitless potential.
"Everything is gestation and then bringing forth," says Rainer Maria Rilke.
The offering here is to allow every impression to come to completion in itself with minimal interference from our intelligent design which can often border on an attachment to a perceived outcome; usually one that will bring some sort of clear understanding.
How is it that I can still be so afraid of the dark?
How is it that I can still get anxious about the waiting, the mystery, and the dark and inexpressible?
What is it about not knowing that creates such paralysis?
My mind races for the finish line wiping its brow with the sweat and blood of a lineage of appeasers and approvers, oriented toward not rocking the boat in the waters of novelty and innovation.
A voice screeches its command to get my life vest on at all costs and stay afloat in the waters of predictability and mediocrity.
I have cast my lot into the waters of forlorn fakery.
They bathe me in all ways to possess a plan and know where I am and where I am going.
I trust that sinking into the dark waters of the unconscious beyond the reach of my own intelligent design for living, with humility and patience; will bring about a new clarity.
What WILL I do with the rest of my life?
I trust that I can continue to empty myself of attachments that hinder the accuracy of perception and the appropriateness of response.
Be Well Within Love…vinn