Vinn's Journal
7/1/2008 |
Esalen Fires
Sunshine's red during the day and at night the moon comes across as orange burnt. The fires raged. People are misty eyed, from sadness and smoke. The fires draw nearer. Throughout the night, prisoners cut a swath clearance on the ridge. They hold hand made signs on the side of Highway 1, "Need Cigarettes!" Surrounded by smoke they beseech us for more.
Snow ash falling from the sky accompanying charred leaves perfect in their arrangement and shape. They have traveled a long way to land at our feet to remind us of what is occurring and to sit on our altar. We continued to shape shift and pause in motion as we remarked how fortunate we are to be held in the dance dome, at the waters edge. Using our peripheral vision we look out from our cocoon and view endless ocean, moist and wet.
Breathing becomes labored and dancers headed home ready to draw a few fresh breaths. There was an unspoken agreement that we would stay and continue to pray and play. Our bodies and souls in motion while our thoughts and words become still. We understood that out there were families packing memories. We knew there were animals striding nervously at the surreal scene.
Breathing became a luxury as we continued to move in all directions we occupy. We held the high watch for all residents anxious about tomorrow. We invoked the spirit of our ancestors, our progeny, our teachers, and all those we serve. Nowhere could be found resignation among the dance. Nowhere dismal displays of hopelessness among the steps we took. We agreed to continue in acceptance of this paradox: the fires burned while we danced.
The fires opened the way, transforming old growth. Our personal mantra became, clear away within the old growth in favor of what will emerge. Awed by the scope of the destruction that was happening, we surrender to The Mother.
Behind our eyes the fires of awareness rage while we cleared away the old growth of attachment. We were finding ways in which our attachment to rigid ideas and closed opinions stifled the new growth arising from ashes. Personally there was a fresh clearing for witnessing my attachment to being understood and appreciated.
The fires encroached our habitat and we knew transformation was happening. We were being asked to step away from expectations and toward the experience at hand. It was an outside/inside reflection. The fire consumes and transforms the standing old growth to a charred pile of fertile ground. What remains will become the seed of what will happen. In the ashes of the old is the ground of the new. Restored Life eventually will emerge to take a place among these woodland episodes.
Finally we are told to evacuate. It is time to abandon the dance and seek distance from the flames. It is with mixed emotions that I leave. Uncertain of what will follow even as we are removed from harm's way. I wonder how this will play out when the smoke clears. Assess the wound and begin rebuilding from the remains. Out of the ashes will soar the flight of renewed attention. Our everyday dance of rebirth and begin again, continues.