Open it ever so slightly to allow the winds of wonder to waft through my living rooms. The rooms I occupy in the caverns of my gut that will yank me down away from the thought tower police.
Those reflections that insist I toe the line of correctness and avoid upsetting the prevailing conditions of indecisive dreariness.
This opening of doors can nourish our dance. The conscious dancer who learns to lower and to listen to the knock on these doors of perception will dance on solid ground.
It is often faint and quiet, this rapping, and it requires deep stillness and inner silence to hear.
Upon hearing there is only one thing left to do, fling open the door and usher these curious creatures of the body express into the dance.
Let them make a mad dash through the stations of shape and sound and space.
Hurry alongside these furious locomotors and gesticulate wildly and wondrously without any concern to order or story or placement.
Today I answer the call of this knocking as it takes place and continue to make myself available each time they show themselves at my doorstop.
I guard against the complacency of my safe dance to hide out in the comfort of any crisis of confidence.
I watch the ways in which I yearn to separate and play the outsider and avoid risking my looking good, my being misunderstood, or even my being heard.
I am aware of all the ways I hold back and hide. All the ways I miss seeing the entire dance floor.
Today I realize the dance is here for me to participate in.
I am the dancer being danced as the dance.
I know that to slip into the community of the dance, even for a glimpse of its diversity, is to gain freedom from the bondage of dualistic separation.
Knowing that this is one hell of a dance to get a glimpse of, I continue to answer the rapping at my door.
I know more about vacillation and half-stepping than should be permitted by any one human being.
Throughout the everyday dance I have been, on far too many occasions, stuck in indecisiveness, wavering meekly so as not to provoke anyone who might differ with or challenge me. I have been taught that to be the nice person who goes along and finds the peaceful solution at all costs is the dance to do.
I am a small child, helpless and lost in a department store aisle, scurrying along, panicked and unable to see clearly over the walls that define and confine me. I am locked in a tunnel vision of narrow-minded proportions and cannot see the total circumference of dance destiny. I know what is down the line right in front of me, yet I have no clue as to the surrounding texture.
I am frozen in a myopic mess.
Opening my view of this dance to include an orientation of orbital dimensions provides a clearing that opens my breathing toward a full-bodied excursion. All the cells of creativity are bathed with each round of the breath cycle and this body is sensitized and sensual in its defining moments. I can see over any self-imposed barriers of separation.
It’s a matter of perspective as to what triggers me; frozen in place courting the ground underneath, I know that the fear of error, of being wrong, of not having the right answer and the right timing plays a key role in tripping over my feet.
Big deal, I am wrong! So what if I did not have the correct response in the time frame being pushed on me. Who cares if the perfect solution is not spread out on the lab table before me?
What if the knot of not knowing could be untied from any angle? What if I could look to the lightness of my being, step back and envision a wider perspective throughout any ordeal?
Replace jangle with joys of curiosity. Replace suppression with sparks of wonder.
Today I look at indecision as a cool splash of water that keeps me refreshed, alert, and vibrant in not knowing.
Today I shift the paradigm of knowing, to pause and acknowledge this as a sign of strength.
I am flexing the muscle of deep wisdom and knowing when to hold them and when to fold them.
Today I turn on its head the meaning of being well prepared, of having all the ducks lined up in a row.
Today my ducks are allowed to bobble and bounce randomly to the whims of waves that are fleeting and fueled by the winds of wonder, discovery, and awe.
I am retooling this mind machine to perceive each and every situation and person worthy of involvement. They are not on the outside looking in. I am not on the inside looking out. Outside, inside are the same sides.
I linger more in the space of curiosity. I restructure the foundation of rapid response and replace it with regal relaxation.
I am announcing today my rejoicing in the ignorance of the unknown, of being empty and devoid of immediate answer.
I don’t care if things are not all tied up neatly and summations impeccable. “I don’t know, let me get back to you”, has become my new beacon of deliverance for a tranquil mind and relaxed body.
I will not shy away from blank stares and vapid facial expressions, my own or others’.
I embrace the presence of pause as empowering and confident.
I use this wider view of indecision as deep understanding for all things inexpressible and inexplicable.
I use this new view as a teaching in the arenas of mystery, space, silence, and stillness, all components of a soul in motion and guidelines for this dancer of the everyday dance.
I invite you to embrace these guidelines and explore new depths – experience the foundational work that establishes this consciousness.